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Sunday, September 13, 2009

30 Minutes or Less -- Or the Downfall of Modern (Pizza) Civilization


One of the first slogans I remember from my childhood is "Avoid the Noid." Weekend nights would roll around and every once in a while, my parents would spring for pizza to be delivered. Us kids would wait anxiously and check the clock, because if that sucker was delivered one second after 3o minutes, it was free.

I always loved the idea of making a call and a short while later, a pizza would magically appear at my doorstep. A fact that a quick glance at my bank statements during my college years would easily confirm. But lately, I've grown a little sorrowful for my (and, I'm assuming, the rest of the country's) reliance on delivery to satisfy my pizza needs.

It used to be that whenever you wanted a slice, you'd head down to the local pizzeria, grab a booth, a pitcher of your favorite soda, and wait for it to come steaming out of the oven and straight to your table. How often do we do that any more? Pizza parlors have become a dying breed. They have an unmistakable scent. Walk inside and you're instantly reminded of friends' birthday parties in elementary school. Or celebrating the final game of little league. Sure, it's not as convenient (or miraculous) as having it show up at your doorstep. I'm willing to bet it's a heck of a lot better. Everything is fresh and there's no cardboard taste from those horrible boxes.

Do yourself a favor. The next time your craving some pizza, grab your family or some friends, flip through your phone book and look up your local place. It's probably named Tony's or Giuseppe's or Lucy's -- mine is called Maxie's. Head on over and get a fresh pie, you'll be happy you did. Who knows, if all of us do this every once in a while, we won't be stuck eating chain-store pizza from a cardboard box for the rest of our lives.



* Dominos has since done away with the 30 minute or its free policy. Allegedly because their drivers were causing too many accidents trying to beat the 30 minute mark. Dominos got sued so much, it eventually undid the guarantee. Stupid lawyers -- ruining all my pizza delivery fun.

56 comments:

This is me said...

I just wanted to let you know that I read this post a really long time ago, like the exact second it was posted, but I am just commenting right now.

And, I agree whole-heartedly with your opinions on pizza parlors.

And Maxies. MMMMM.....Maxies. Except make sure you order it with extra thick crust or else it will be super thin and crunchy. And you know how much I hate crunchy pizza crust.

Oh, yeah, and that thing you said about lawyers. That was dead-on. Always ruining all our fun.

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